"Something big is coming and I need you. No, this isn't a booty call. We're just inviting you down to the beach for some fireworks.
The price of JRN stock is dropping and we need to please our WisGOP masters. We'd like to throw some sparklers on the fires of incivility.
No matter how hard we tried, the nastiness in the comments sections of JSOnline wouldn't sink low enough. To hell with encouraging the civil discourse! It may be the "not right" way of doing things, but we're going to do it.
We're going to spend money to keep Republicans and Democrats a-fighting. Who gets most of that campaign advertising money? We do! (Sure, that would be a Pulitzer-winning expose, but who's going to write it?)
With an ever-shrinking staff of reporters, we'd like to keep our stock from being delisted by encouraging you to comment in a new place, creating our content for us, driving new eyeballs to new online advertisers.
This new online venue will allow WisGOP press releases, Charlie Sykes blogs, WPRI press releases, Wisconsin Reporter press releases, Media Tracker press releases, Christian Schneider, and Rick Esenberg - but we repeat ourselves! - to be published in at least three places at once.
Best of all, they'll all advertise with us to drive traffic back to their own web sites.
The stakes have never been higher, and we need to sink to new lows. Join us now."